Almost nobody moves a parent or spouse into memory care too early. Families often say afterward that they were waiting for a sign that was loud enough, and that the quieter signs had been there for months.
Signs about safety
- Leaving and getting lost. Walking out at night, or driving to a familiar place and not finding the way home.
- Medication mistakes that reminders do not fix. Double doses, skipped days, pills hidden or thrown away.
- Kitchen and household close calls. Burners left on, doors left open in winter, scams answered on the phone.
- Falls with no clear cause, or falls nobody saw.
Signs about daily life
- Weight loss. Forgetting to eat, or no longer able to put a meal together.
- Hygiene slipping. The same clothes for days, resistance to bathing, trouble with the bathroom.
- Late-day distress. Anxiety, pacing or anger that starts in the afternoon and builds through the evening.
- Withdrawal. Dropping the card game, the church group, the phone calls.
The sign about you
The caregiver is worn out. You are not sleeping. Your own health appointments keep getting cancelled. You have started to dread the phone. This counts. A care plan that depends on one exhausted person is not a safe plan.
What to do with this list
- Talk to the doctor. Some causes of confusion are treatable. Rule those out and ask directly what level of supervision is needed now.
- Tour before there is a crisis. Decisions made from a hospital discharge desk are rushed. Decisions made on a quiet Tuesday are better.
- Ask about a short stay. A respite stay lets everyone see how it goes without a permanent commitment.
- Call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline, 800-272-3900. It is free, and they will talk as long as you need.
If your family member is already in assisted living
The question becomes whether the building can keep them safe. Assisted living staff check in on a schedule. Memory care is built around the idea that someone may need attention at any moment. At French Meadow Place the first memory care level includes at least four checks every shift and staff-given medications, and both kinds of care are in one building. See how memory care works here.
This guide is general information, not legal, financial or medical advice. Program rules change. Confirm details with the Senior LinkAge Line, your county, or a qualified advisor.